Over my years doing divorces, I have learned which behaviors will lead to high legal fees in a contested divorce in Florida.  Although I’ve numbered them, they are in no particular order.

I’ve also included an explanation as to why these behaviors will not result in the intended outcome.

Behaviors that Make You Pay More

1)  The person who doesn’t want a divorce but their spouse does.  Florida is a no-fault divorce.  This means that if one spouse believes the marriage is over and wants a divorce, they will get it.  Fighting it, especially with a lawyer, will only lead to spending money to delay but will not avoid the divorce.

2)  The person who caught their spouse cheating and wants to use the courts to shame their spouse while going through a divorce, and thinks the spouse’s adultery will let them get a better equitable distribution.  Courts (Judges) are not going to engage in moral judgment, regardless of how they may privately feel about a party. In addition, the equitable distribution statute doesn’t provide for a greater division to the spouse that did not engage in adultery unless an asset (usually money) was spent in the affair.

3)  The person who has been married to a stay-at-home spouse and thinks that spouse should receive little or no assets because they didn’t contribute any hard-money to the marriage.  The spouse who has been a stay-at-home Mom or Dad has worked, although not received pay for that work.  The statutes take this into consideration in a divorce.  So whether they worked outside the home or not, they will receive assets from the marriage.

4)  The person who has put up with a lot, thinking the other spouse will change but doesn’t; then they want the divorce judge to compensate them for having put up with the spouse.  There is no compensation in divorce for “bad” behavior accepted throughout the marriage.  At best, there is just equitable distribution.

5)  The couples who don’t want to set child support even though it is a requirement in divorces with minor children.  The Florida divorce statutes require a court to establish child support.  Moreover, the right to receive child support does not belong to a parent.  So child support will be calculated.

6)  The parent in a divorce with minor children who doesn’t want the other parent to have any contact with the child.  Children have a right to the companionship of both parents when that is in the best interest of the child.  As far as Florida law is concerned, the recent changes to the timesharing statute makes clear that each parents starts out with a presumption of equal timesharing.

Dealing with Emotions in a Contested Divorce in Florida

These situations all involve emotions crashing against the realities of laws providing for a no-fault divorce, timesharing/child support, and equitable distribution.  Many divorce lawyers will be happy to accommodate these positions for a while, although no lawyer will guarantee the desired outcome.

The answer is a cold, hard look at what the law provides, and using a therapist to deal with the emotions brought about by these situations. 

There is nothing wrong with the emotions, but don’t let them make you pay more for a divorce than you have to.

A Better Way to Divorce

You can avoid contested divorce in Florida without giving up any rights.  You can start by educating yourself about your rights with a divorce lawyer. A consultation with a divorce attorney will save you money when you prepare yourself to get the answers to your questions and doubts.  Learning about all the options available for doing your divorce is better than just going into court to litigate.