In searching for information about getting a divorce, the problem you will face is what to make of all the information you’ll find. You will find helpful information, and some that is contradictory. 

It is not helpful, either, to hear more from people describing their divorce as a war, and less from those who have taken a more proactive and positive approach.

The problem is not really about the legal process as such. It is more about your role IN that process if you and your spouse have been discussing getting a divorce.

Getting a Divorce begins With This Simple Fact

The only available grounds for divorce in Florida is that  the marriage is irretrievably broken.  All this means is that the marriage is not working for the person who wants to file for divorce. 

We lawyers will not ask you why you or your spouse want to file for divorce.  A judge in a divorce trial will never ask you why you want a divorce.

The phrase “irretrievably broken” does not assign blame to either spouse in a divorce. Nevertheless, you will find plenty of divorcing couples who choose to litigate as if one or the other of them was at fault when filing for divorce.   

Divorcing couples who choose to litigate keep many a divorce attorney in business, even when we advise on a course that is less litigious.  The alternatives is to work with your spouse on getting it done without litigation, or as little of it as possible given the specific situation.

Alternatives to litigation can help you

Over the years, we have seen the introduction of alternatives to litigation in family law in an effort to reduce litigation, such as mediation and the collaborative process.  These options are available for your divorce even before you file in court, but many people still use litigation as their first option.

The goal is not simply to save money when getting a divorce.  The main goal is to reduce the emotional toll of divorce on the entire family, especially if there are minor children in the marriage.  Long after you have left the courthouse and we lawyers have moved on to other cases, you and your former spouse will have to parent the children, learning to get along and work together.

Where Do You Fit Into the Process?

You, as a party to a divorce, may not realize that you and your spouse are the ones in charge of your divorce from the beginning.  You have the power to get it done in a way that causes the least stress, and does not involve huge sums of money litigating. 

In a Florida divorce, you can agree, litigate, mediate or collaborate.  The process of divorce itself will be as difficult or as easy as you choose to make it.  The choice is yours.

Divorce is often described as an emotionally traumatic event in someone’s life, equal to the death of a loved one. This is true for the spouse who wants a divorce as much as for the other spouse, assuming the other spouse wants to remain married.

Our emotions about the divorce will influence how we get a divorce in terms of choosing litigation or a less difficult and expensive path.  We often don’t think clearly when we are dealing with strong emotions brought about by resistance.  Sometimes, we may not even be aware that this is happening.  It is understandable, then, why we can make our own divorce a difficult one.

But you still have a choice.  Which process you choose will impact you emotionally and  financially  to a lesser or greater extent.

You can also call 305-710-9419 or email me.