Category Archives: relationships

children

Mental Health Tips to Help Your Family Deal with COVID-19 Worries

mental health, relationships

By now, we should be well aware of the precautions to minimize the spread of COVID-19.  We should also take steps to safeguard our mental health, including the mental health of children, who may only be aware of bits and pieces of the total story.

The best source for any reliable news are health organizations, not just for our physical health but also our mental health.

The CDC has a page dedicate to mental health and coping related to the virus.  It includes information for supporting yourself as well as for you to help your children.

Taking Care of Yourself

Not surprisingly, the CDC’s top tip for safeguarding your mental health is to limit your exposure to media coverage of the virus.  In journalism circles, the cliché about “if it bleeds, it leads” is true: the media will have a tendency to lead with stories that may garner the most clicks, views, and shares, but that may put an unnecessary bad spin on circumstances. 

While some of these news articles may be useful, they may give the impression of things being worse than they really are.  This is were real facts can put things in perspective.  So pay attention to the sources of news you read.

Be equally careful when reading source that disseminate conspiracy theories or negate the need to take precautions.  Just because someone doesn’t want things to be true, doesn’t mean that they are not true.

The CDC’s second suggestions is for you to get plenty of rest, eat healthy and exercise regularly.  These are things that we should do regardless of a pandemic, but they take on a special meaning because not only do they keep us healthy, but doing these normal things give us a sense of normalcy that may otherwise be missing given the current state of things.

Refer to the original CDC page on coping with COVID-19 or their main page on the Coronavirus Disease 2019 for more.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has published  a pamphlet (pdf) on Mental Health Considerations during COVID-19 Outbreak.

Helping Your Children Cope

As is frequently the case with children, they learn from us: parents, grandparents,  and other adults in their lives. Just as you may look for tips to help a child deal with divorce, you can find tips to help your children deal with what is going on right now.

However, each child is different, just like adults; and how they cope in dealing with this or any other situation has a lot to do with what they see us do.

Because each child will respond in their own way, the CDC gives you some things to watch out for, including:

·  Excessive crying and irritation

·  Returning to behaviors they have outgrown (e.g., toileting accidents or bed-wetting)

·  Excessive worry or sadness

·  Unhealthy eating or sleeping habits

·  Irritability and “acting out” behaviors

·  Poor school performance or avoiding school

·  Difficulty with attention and concentration

·  Avoidance of activities enjoyed in the past

·  Unexplained headaches or body pain

They also have suggestions for you to help and support your child.  This includes the same advise as to limiting exposure to media coverage of the event, and ensuring that children understand what they are hearing/reading on the news.

Like the CDC, the WHO’s pamphlet includes information on helping your children.

COVID-19 may be new, but our resilience is not.  We are—each of us and together—well equipped to deal with the virus if we deal with facts, prepare adequately, and address each challenge as they come, one day at a time.

should I get a divorce

Should I get a Divorce? What you should know

divorce in florida, property and divorce, relationships

Couples may go through temporary separations as they work things out. When a separation lasts long, you begin to ask yourself, “Should I get a divorce?” It is understandable to try to delay dissolving the marriage; it feels less messy emotionally.  But putting off a divorce may have unintended legal consequences as you try to move on with your life.

When the separation runs into years and you lose track of your spouse, the process of getting a divorce may complicate your ability to go on with your life as if you were single.

Unintended consequences of not getting divorced

Regardless of whether you know where your spouse is, here are some surprising results about a lengthy separation when neither of you intend to continue being married:

  • Buying a Home: In Florida, if you want to buy a home and are married, your spouse will have to sign the mortgage. This isn’t a problem as to buying a home if you are paying for the home cash. But if you have to finance your home, your closing may be delayed since you have to either find your spouse or get the divorce done.
  • Getting Remarried: Remarrying while still being married to someone else is called bigamy, which is a crime; and your new marriage is void from the beginning. Beyond the fact that it is a crime, do you really want to start your new marriage while still married to someone else? New spouses are rarely understanding of this fact.
  • Setting a Wedding Date: Related to the second point, above, is setting a marriage date for your new marriage while still being married to someone you can’t find. there is no way to shorten the time required to do a search to find your spouse, or the time set by the Court for your spouse to answer when the divorce is done by publication.
  • Inheriting Your Estate: People who are married have a right in the estate of a spouse who passes away, regardless of whether they are still living together. At a minimum, your heirs will have to fight your spouse; and in the worst case scenario, your spouse may walk away with property you accumulated between the date of separation and the date of you passed away.
  • Having Your Spouse Claim Property: In many instances, your spouse can claim a share in property you have accumulated since the separation. In Florida, there is no legal separation that automatically happens simply because you and your spouse have decided to separation. There is either marriage with a pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreement, or a dissolution. But it is a myth to think that just because you are no longer living as spouses, that you are “legally” separated. Without a pre-nuptial or a post-nuptial agreement, all property you accumulate–think retirement plans, investments, small business, savings ccount, etc– after you separated but before a divorce is property that is subject to being divided by the Court.

Explore your options to better answer the dreaded Should I get a Divorce Question

Only you can decide whether dissolving your marriage is right for you.

You have many options to choose from. A good starting point is marriage counseling if you’re not sure that you are ready to get a divorce.

If marriage counseling doesn’t seem to work, you have other options to conclude this phase of your life. You can speak to your spouse about an uncontested divorce.  If that doesn’t work, get a case assessment session that answers all your questions, including options for getting a divorced when your spouse will not cooperate with you. Lastly, if you’ve lost touch with your spouse and don’t know where they are, you can do a divorce by publication.

Don’t put off your divorce any longer simply because you think it will be a hassle to get it done.

If you have questions about your divorce, or if you’re ready to begin the process, call me today at 305-710-9419.  You can also, complete this request form and let me know the best time to call you.