While most of what we are seeing in the news is about the negative impact of Covid-19 on our daily lives, there are areas that are also improving.  This is fortunate for us because it provides us a safe harbor to bring a certain normalcy back into our lives, however each of us defines that. It also shows us there is a lot we can still control.

Strengthen/Maintain Family & Friendship Ties

Many of us understand at a deep level the importance of maintaining our family ties.  But we also know that demands on our time from work, children’s extracurricular activities, and an assortment of interesting activities or opportunities can sometimes make it difficult to deepen those ties.  One thing is to absentmindedly interact with our families as we rush in from work, hurrying to make the family dinner or help a child with their schoolwork. Quite another is to be already home, if you are fortunate to work from home; or to have the children already home, if you don’t.  Both situations afford us the opportunity to slow down, as there are no other activities available to rush to next at the end of your day..

Personally, I’m enjoying more time with my brother and his family who live further away from me.  Because my elderly parents and I fall into an at-risk category, we have been able to have regular family events, which include my brother and his family.  We all limit where we go and with whom we come into contact outside this group, and always wear masks.

Finding new ways to spend this family time together or rediscovering old ones can also lead us to getting even closer to our family, beyond the routine things we used to do together.  We can resurrect old games like doing puzzles together, sharing simple cooking tasks with our children; and (at least in Florida, every day), the old past time of I Spy in the Sky (cloud gazing).  None of these activities involves fancy gadgets or spending money, but they go a long way in sharing time together in a different way.  My favorite pastime at the moment is puzzles, the more pieces the better.

Maintaining friendships may be a little harder while maintaining social distance.  But here too there are opportunities: longer phone calls or video calls (Zoom, Facetime, WhatsApp, etc); maybe a socially-distanced walk at a park or backyard picnic if you know your friends are also taking care to be safe on their own.

Opportunities to Slow Down

According to this USA Today article, FOMO, or the fear of missing out, is still out there, but in a quarantine version and easily triggered by social media.  An expert quoted in the article talks about FOMO for what 2020 could have meant for us if there had been no virus.  I’m not a fan of crying over spilled milk so I’m not likely to entertain FOMO as to all the traveling I will not be doing next year—there’s always the possibility of taking road trips here at home.

We obviously can control how much digital media we consume that doesn’t help us have an IRL (in real life) experience that is not particularly  meaningful to us.  And IRL is all that counts.  

Now we can get a new hobby or re-discover an old one, dedicate time to things we may have been interested in before, like cooking, gardening, birdwatching, reading more books (digital or real books).  I’m currently into small DIY home improvements, but running out of opportunities—there’s only so much painting and what-not that I can do without it just being busywork.

We can pick an activity and incorporate it into our new routine, especially if you can do it outside.  Research shows that spending time outside is good for us in terms of our health and psychological well-being.  According to the study, as little as 120 minutes spread out over a week provides benefit, so there is no need to become a weekend warrior when you can spread it over a week.

There’s always more sleep!  We certainly can sneak in some naps or late rising in there.

These two areas provide us a lot of room to feel safe and gain a measure of control of our daily lives, while at the same time giving us the opportunity to bring enjoyment as we go along.

Update on Divorce Court Proceedings

Those of us who practice family and attend some judicial panels are learning that we will probably not be back in person in court for the remainder of the year.  The court buildings will remain closed.

Even after that, there are some new procedures that will remain electronic.  It doesn’t see  as if uncontested divorces will be going back to in-person hearings.  Instead they will continue to be purely electronic documents, with no hearing on the web.

Motion calendars, which are events for 5-minute legal arguments in cases, will probably continue as zoom hearings for judges who elect to do it this way.

I’m finding out that clients who want an uncontested divorce without having to go to court are enjoying how fast the process is without having to drive to court, or deal with technology with which they are not familiar.

For free, downloadable resources about divorce, paternity and domestic violence, visit the free family download page (no email required, just click and get a pdf)